just for the sake of writing a bloody blog and getting it off my chest…

so it’s about ten 40 or so…and i am still asleep. I’ve been sleeping til about 11:25 everyday because i have been really ill since the week of my birthday…a pretty long f***ing time…My husband calls and is very angered by something…or someone…a real estate agent called and said he’s on the way to our house…where the little wife is sound asleep and trying to get well…he says he’s already on the way and can’t turn back. My husband asks…should i not let him in? I told him don’t worry about it, i’ll take care of it. But the realtor never called me (and you’d think he would since i am the one who’s at home…stupid)…Now imagine…my husband could have been in the middle of filming…and the real estate guy might have possibly not been able to reach him…so the little wife is home, naked, and sleeping…and the big bad wolf has the key.?? Thank God i haven’t been as paranoid as i usually am…i would have thrown a fit (which i did after he left just because i don’t do well with people just showing up and not telling me at least an hour and 15 ahead of time…OCD you know) and i am pretty difficult.

so when he got there he wished me a belated happy birthday…because he knew i was pissed and because he pulled the same stunt the day before my birthday…only my husband knew nothing about it…i wasn’t even awake that day…and had to quickly search for some clothes…
“slime ball”

/milena

/mad hale

1 and 2: These are horses! They are not at all related to dragons… However, these horses were photographed on the farm where Dungeons and Dragons was created. A friend of mine’s (Megan) mother mother owns the place.
3: Just me… playin’ a fool.
4: Some dude rode by on his bike. I almost didn’t take this picture! He was so fast.
5-8: Downtown Chicago. Where the many important people do important things.
9: This is a self portrait. There was this dummy in a store window. I matched my silhouette with the money bag and his mask. That’s my get-away van over there…

Now… let’s get to the story that most of you won’t read… because it contains something very scary to Americans: words.

Alright… The trouble with Chicago is that it’s next to Wisconsin. Wisconsin contains a very dangerous man… but how did I get to Chicago… and Why was I in Wisconsin?
A couple of months ago Daniel had an epiphany, “Florida is the state of supreme sucktitide!” he said (or something like that)… It wasn’t an actual epiphany, for we were already well aware of Florida’s sucktitude. He, however, decided to do something about it: move… If you love Florida, please do not send angry letters… Instead go eat a bee hive! I hear it cures you of living!

We found ourselves on the way to Chicago just after several delicious beet centered dishes with his Russian family. We left at around 11:30 PM Thanksgiving. Taking turns driving, we were able to reach the Smoky Mountains by the next morning. Neither of us had slept much so we figured an expert-class, 8 mile hike was in order. I didn’t take many pictures as we jogged most of the slick path… the other hikers were shooting us some funny looks.

We made it to Chicago just after 12AM the next day. Just as we reached the city we noticed this car doing some “fancy driving”… This incredibly intelligent drunk individual was slamming into guard rails and concrete medians. I’m not sure if it makes me a bad person… but we had a good laugh over his stupidity. If he made it home he probably woke up the next day and was like, “Dude, what the hell happened to the car?!”
The stay in Chicago was cool… We ventured over to Wisconsin with Dan’s girlfriend, Megan.

So… Here’s the trouble with Wisconsin… this dude… On one trip to Wisconsin with Megan I noticed a very interesting tree standing alone in this giant field. Now, I could have taken a picture of it from the road, and it would have been completely legal for me to do so. But, I decided to go chat with the land owner and ask permission. I figured it might lead to some interesting conversation as this usually does… Well… this was interesting.

Every privacy sign you could possibly imagine was posted on the driveway to the house: “Attack Dogs Will Eat You!!!” “Leave Now!” etc… We also noticed several very “republican” signs hanging everywhere… While I’m not political at all, I usually associate these type of signs with simple, church attending folks… but there was still something ominous in the air.
We decided to leave… I was practically looking for snipers on the roof. … It was too late… This well dressed, clean looking, man in his 60’s pulled up behind us in his Cadillac, blocking our escape. I quickly threw on a sweatshirt to cover my death metal t-shirt and removed my “hoodlum” beanie.

“What the hell do you think you’re doing?” he said as he snapped pictures with a disposable camera. My psycho alarm had already gone off, so I relaxed and decided to chat.

I calmly explained that I would like to take a picture of the tree… I could see it in his eyes. “Clever, a spy disguised as a stupid photographer,” he though. “Right, what’s so special about my tree? There’s 200 billion trees in this damn state, why do you want my tree?” He yelled.
I smiled. “What are you laughing at, I don’t think you understand something, kid. I’m your worst f*cking nightmare!” He faired at me.
“I’m not trying to be hostile sir-”

“Well, I am hostile, I’m a f*cking animal!” His eyes were wild. “I’ve got guns! I’m your worst nightmare.”

He clearly had no guns on his person… perhaps in the car… but there was no way I was gonna let him go back to that Cadillac… It was lunacy. He was threatening someone twice his size and half his age who was being a nice guy! I tried not laugh but a chortle escaped.

“You think you punk kids can come around here with your converse shoes and…” He continued yelling… He eventually confesses the reason for his nearly psychotic paranoia. A number of years back, someone broke into his house and killed his parents. I interrupted him with a firm tone and explained that I had respect for him for the way he was protecting his family. I continued to explain a bit about my beliefs (which I made sure were in line with his)… He was still hostile but began to calm. He still seemed as though he might recoil and strike.
“Sir, if you don’t mind, I’d like to be on my way.” I figured I’d better go before he tried something, which would have forced me to bend his arm in an inconvenient fashion.

On the way out I decided to check his mailbox… later I could check out the address online and find out who this guy was… maybe learn a bit about what made him the way he was… The numbers had been removed from his mailbox… and house. Then he turned invisible! … kidding…

I probably shouldn’t post these yet… but I’ll post a couple… gonna do some more dark ballet dancing pics… soon.. this is the idea… only had 8 minutes to shoot…

????????

The last several pictures are from Shurtleff’s Laundry in Pikeville, KY. I had no clue, but I’m related to the folks that run this place. The place was hot! There was this massive pressing device in the center of the room. You could see the heat waving in the light above it… The employees walk about with ice cold towels wrapped around their necks and heads. Without them they would surely feint. In the center of the room the thermometer was at 160! That’s almost as hot as the heat of passion I stir up with my lover! I’d love to do a shoot there with somebody… anyone wanna go?

I grew up near all these strange houses… My old school friends might even live in a few of them… It’s late… Enjoy the pics.

Tuna”… This is what happened after a few sandwiches…

My Christian friends have been giving me a lot of guff about this set.

One said that, “red makes people want to have sex”… another said, “I wouldn’t let me daughter dress like that.” … and another went so far to say, “God does not like this, you are doing evil in his eyes.”

Some of my friends are so close to God that they are allowed to speak on his behalf.

It’s a body and I am not exploiting it. These photos are not to offend… if they do… stop staring at them, put your tongue back into your mouth, and go watch a Disney movie.

This set does a few things. First, I’ve taken somewhat sexy images here… but I have tried to show a different angel than what you see with most model shoots… Here the models are just being themselves. I’m sure that’s a scary concept for most models.

In my opinion, either of these girls could be modeling wherever they pleased… The fact that they are making faces and goofing off instead of making “pouty lips” and trying to act as sultry and sexy as possible says something… We’re here to smack some sense into the ridiculously vain world of modeling in America…

Sexy is not a pose… or a bent over girl… or a girl who is cupping her naked boobs in her hands while licking her lips… it’s something in the eye… it’s mystery… it’s not being afraid to be yourself.

Hope you enjoyed the pictures… Leave a comment… or suggestion… or I’ll send angry hornets to kill your family.